June-12-2005
June-6-2005
)
When
I was a little girl and still used to go on holiday with my parents, my
young uncle (my mother's brother in name and deeds, heheh) used to come
and check our house and feed the various species of animals we were
breeding then, so that we could spend our two weeks' holidays without
worrying about them. I particularly remember one summer when, after
talking to him on the phone almost everyday and hearing him say:
"Everything OK!" (Tutto bene in Italian) we came back home to
find out that in the meantime, nearly all the rabbits were dead and my two
turtles were missing in the woods after he left the gate open... I've come
to dread the "Everything OK!" exclamation ever since!SO, when I was in Cambodia last month and called Italy on my cell phone everyday to make sure my Robodog was doing fine, I used to shiver (despite the 40C in the shadow) hearing my mother say: "Everything OK" ("Tutto bene!").
All possible, impossible and improbable scenarios were running through my head for 20 days and.... I was right! While I was away, poor Robodog was on antibiotics because of an infection to his paw and to his ear, plus his limp worsened but I was left in the dark, despite calling everyday! My mother claims she kept silent for fear of making me worry.... I suppose this is the typical case where both parties are right. Fact is that all I have to worry now is that outrageous telephone bill: 240 Euros for nothing! Well, 240 Euros to hear: TUTTO BENE! heheh
May-26-2005
)
The
last time I put pen to paper I was flying over Burma and the Andaman Sea,
about one month ago: destination Phnom Penh (transit in Bangkok). Obviously
that journey has been a question of living the moment, saving all the
impressions for later. I'm still under the spell of Cambodia's magic: either
you feel it or you don’t. And that magic is what makes you want to go back
one week after you left.
The coolness of pagodas' floors under your bare feet, the blinding light and
the unbearable heat outside, the splendors of the past and the efforts of
building a new Cambodia after the horrors of the recent past, little birds
cooped up in cages by dozens and the quick and friendly smile of the people.
Beauty and darkness, contradiction and fascination; it's been like living on
another planet for three weeks but I assure you, I thought of you all when I
saw the pale blue waters of the River Mekong....yes, sure, heheh. (to be
continued...well that's the intention)
[Picture: Phnom Pehn, Buddhist Pagoda]
May-17-2005
April-21-2005
There
was a moment this week when my "To Do" list seemed to grow by
the hour when it should have been the opposite... I've never been good at
organising my trips, always postponing the inevitable practical side of
travelling to the last minute. No doubt that's what makes me a sort
of "intrepid traveller" going new places without
"reading the signs". I hate packing (and unpacking alike), no
matter how strongly I want to leave for this adventure, though I can say
I'll live those weeks in suspense, missing my Robodog like never before.
He'll be surely mentioned in the two notebooks I'm taking with me (one for
the heart and one for the mind), which I'll furiously fill with emotions
and impressions, past and present. In the midst of unavoidable preparations I made some time today to drive up to my nest just to spend an hour or so sketching and taking in the views. When I'll be far away from home feeling an absolute beginner, I'll think of my place like it was today, the place where the swallows fly and say: GO NINI GO!
I'll do my best to return when the slope in my back garden will be covered with blooming poppies, their velvety and still crumpled petals shining in the sun after the long, endless wait...and boy, I'll feel crumpled, too!
At any rate, if you don't see me back online by mid-May, start to wo...wonder, heheh!!!
[Picture: Outer peacefulness & not even the faintest hint of the whirlwind inside]
April-12-2005
)
We
NEED our dust back and spiders in the corners, too!I dread tomorrow...Over the last couple of months Wednesday has turned into the day when I come home from work to find all signs of life utterly removed from every corner of my house, floor shining, layers of dust vanished, even the bed is made (the only time it happens in the week)... On Wednesdays I can smell the various detergents all the way up from the garage... Ms. Tornado, that's what I call her, my house help, has been ignoring my phobia for chemical detergents and instead of using lukewarm water and vinegar (as suggested by me) to remove calc from stainless steel and glass, she keeps on applying generous quantities of chemicals to the kitchen sink and to the shower box; chemicals that, in my opinion, should be banned or severely restricted to say the least! They lower my immunity defenses, aargh!
But since she's adamant and cannot be easily diverted from domestic chemistry, I went to great lengths just to avoid coming into contact with the odious substances; I made a list explaining what sponges should be used for certain detergents: yellow sponge for the awful calc remover in the kitchen, blue for the one in the bathroom, pink sponge for this, green on for that...okay, wasted time, I'm sure she didn't even give a glance to my list...One day I even hid the "poison" in the cupboard but from her lack of comments, I suspect she found it somehow: maybe I should leave my webcam on to monitor her while I'm at the office...uhm...
On Wednesdays I unlock the door and feel intimidated, not daring to let a crumble fall on the floor and and...even Biondo_Robodog is acting strange on that day...he sets one paw indoor and then goes immediately outside to check the name on the doorbell! heheheh!!
March-31-2005
March-29-2005
)
Apart from the usual Easter hustle-bustle of feeding chickens, pigeons,
rabbits and making my parents' dog take his pills, the past Easter
break was packed with other odd events (like trying to fix the automated
gate that would not open under the pouring rain after 3 months' drought)
and non-events, among which a baptism mass I should have attended but
eventually never did because I decided that seeing the baby's atheist mother
conform would be nothing new after all...Since doing the laundry was definitely not on my mind, it happened that this morning, having run out of clean underwear, I had to rush to work wearing men's briefs, hehehe, yes! And how surprisingly comfortable I felt all day long (lots of space there in front!) ...but even more surprising was meeting by chance an old family friend of mine and hear him talk about the book he has published on the history/evolution of underwear! A sort of "tell me what you're wearing underneath and I'll tell you who you are"... By the look in his eyes, as he was mentally exploring what could be underneath my jeans, I could tell that he'd expect to find anything there but men's briefs! I let him live the illusion, hehe
[Picture: winter-spring embrace]
One hour and a half later...
March-24-2005
)
One
of the advantages of not having sorted out and posted images of Paris and
Holland 2004 in the "Pictures" section is that browsing through
them months later is enough to provide me with a quick and painless escape
whenever I need to (OFTEN). I suppose Robodog was in desperate need of an escape last Saturday morning when I (alas) had to submit him to the vet treatment yet again for his vaccinations. As the vet on duty this time had the decency not to let him fall off the table (refer to last year's adventure), I didn't object when she (sigh, yes, a she-vet) suggested trimming his nails...a few moments later, I swear I was about to use my own nails on her when I saw poor Robodog bleeding because she had cut one of his too short. High time I started considering changing clinic...
Spring is definitely here! Proof is that this time it took less than 24 hours for my (forgotten) soja sprouts to sprout! High time I started considering a side activity as a relaxing alternative to office life... I've developed a talent in kitchen adventures lately..not sure I want to share them...too ashamed to. uhm..
To fire off an email: I love this expression; just learnt it tonight on click-online on BBCNews.
[Picture: yes, you read it well: Walstraat in Deventer]
March-22-2005
[Paris, Spring 2004]
March-20-2005
February-27-2005
)
February-23-2005
Two little stuffed animals in full view on the vending machine, a hedgehog and a doggie...2 seconds of quiet surprise and then to your utter amusement you notice that the two little stuffed animals were actually placed by the anonymous joker as if they were copulating... It is worth mentioning that the teaser had the thoughtfulness of laying the hedgehog on its back, so as to avoid the poor doggie having the sharp spikes in its (painful way). A few steps further... a religious magazine on the little table used for coffee breaks: it's the famous Italian "Christian Family" magazine. A huge title on the cover says "RIGHT DEEP INSIDE"... Coincidence? hehehe!
I must admit the joke was very well thought out but no, it wasn't me...the anonymous joker wasn't me! Honest!
[Three years ago I was reading Delhi by W. Dalrymple...Nowadays I'm frequently getting mail from New Delhi. Aren't those storks ironic? Can you see the ironic link? No? GOOD! let's keep it like this. Thank you India]
February-13-2005
)
Last
week's "highlight" was lunch with a small bunch of people from
my office; not a posh occasion this time, just a cosy reunion to celebrate
our colleague's newborn. Since the baby was placed in a strategic position
and could be viewed from every corner of the table, respect for the little
tyrant was shown by focusing our total attention on him. Discussions over
our pizzas revolved around sleepless nights and childhood issues. Seeing that the subject couldn't be shifted, I tuned in and to my utter surprise I discovered that me and one of my colleagues share a common childhood deprivation: Plasmon biscuits! I remember I knew of their existence (probably I tasted them at a neighbour's) but never had the satisfaction to stuff my face with them: they were a luxury my mum couldn't afford more than 30 years ago....wwhhaha!! The same "misfortune" (hehehe) happened to this colleague of mine and for the same reasons, too... We agreed to make up for this lack of baby-nourishment asap by buying a giant pack of Plasmon biscuits: we're going to devoure them on our coffee-tea breaks till we get sick of them, aha...
In the meantime, whilst pizzas were eaten, our little guest was being breast-fed at the table, his mother just sitting next to me... Before I knew it, she interrupted this motherly activity and headed for the toilet or whatever, leaving me with this blond baby boy in my lap, staring at me with his big blue eyes..."Hey!" I shouted, "what if he starts crying because he wants more milk?"...I leave you to guess what the male guests said... *wink*
[It's the meaning behind it that makes me love today's picture. Absolutely. It was taken on one of my Saturday treks]
February-06-2005
)
)
)
Judging from the agenda, I was sure it was going to be just another of those seminars you can't wait to be done with: 3 hours of tedium without even a coffee-break...20 minutes for your presentation and off you go...Instead, to my utter surprise and to that of my colleague, we were part of the selected few who were invited to the lunch offered by the sponsoring company. So it happened that a few minutes after the seminar was over, we were led through a maze of stairs and lifts to a door that revealed the breathtaking hall of what was Stendhal's apartment when he used to live in Milan in the 19th century. After being shown around and looked into every room of the place, we found ourselves seated at a round table covered with white satin (and likewise the chairs), having lunch in the famous writer's dining-room (no less), complete with huge fireplace and high frescoed ceiling (the building is now owned by the company and has been turned into an exclusive restaurant and business meeting place). I'm still recovering from the (for me unique) experience and I remember that during that lunch all I could think of was that I was happy I had left my hippy bag behind, that morning (sixth sense?), and that I kept on mentally repeating to myself: DO NOT lick your plate when you finish! (licking plates being one of the eccentricities I'm famous for among friends and family)
[Thanks to those of you who bothered to send me some shots grabbed on Sunday 30th, here is a selection of "Robodog & Flamingo moments" (apparently I found slicing zucchini a rather boring task to the point I took the chance to perform one of my favourite Yoga positions at the same time).]
"Accidentally-on-purpose" I forgot to do the laundry yesterday, hence no live ironing session today. With some extra spare time on my hands I thought I'd give a go to Jacuzzi, something I'm usually in need of after a whole working week spent on auto-pilot. The only side-effect is that every time I take a whirlpool bath I feel so relaxed that I'm ready to be carried upstairs on a stretcher!
January-30-2005
)
...Like
having fragrant Basmati rice for dinner together with a deliciously
tempting sauce enriched with coconut milk and immediately falling asleep
only to wake up exactly ten hours later with the clear impression of
having been doped... Unless saffron and cardamom have some hallucinogenic
properties, I have no other explanation for the bizarre imagery of my
confused dreams during those tumultuous 10 hours' sleep...nor can I find a
cause for the strange red patch I noticed in the "cleavage zone"
the morning after, unless the main theme of my dreams had actually taken
place...*cough*I'm starting to understand the state of mind that must have induced Indian artists to produce those extravagantly embarrassing carvings on temples AND I highly recommend that stuff in (the improbable) case you've been hired to write a supplementary chapter to Kamasutra: it makes your imagination work overtime (and I've only tried the mild version of the sauce...so far!).
[I know many of you are experts in grabbing pictures while I'm online. If you happen to have today's pics of me in the kitchen where Robodog is waiting for his second meal of the day (around 7pm CET), please send them over. Although my mailbox is jammed with 304 unanswered emails, I might reply to yours if you manage to send me the right attachment. Let me be the one having a request for once, hehehe]
January-26-2005
January-23-2005
January-14-2005
)
January-01-2005
)
As
well as putting an (albeit temporary) end to my bleary-eyed PC days, this
10 days' break from work is doing me a whole lot of good. Proof is I've
been having great, peculiar dreams lately, all sharing a common denominator.
The thing is that if our dreams mirror our deepest desires, then I must
really do something about the deprivation I'm supposedly suffering from!
:)Last night's dream...[Edit]
*sneeze-sneeze*
Side note: I never cared for chocolate but after I accidentally found out I'm intolerant/allergic to it, I've developed an uncontrollable desire for this forbidden food
[Picture: September 2004. Dawn at MXP airport, leaving for Greece]
December-29-2004
Little children survivors, may those deep brown eyes of yours, now solemnly surveying scenes of disaster, look to the future also with our help.
December-19-2004
)
If
you happen to know how long it takes for soya sprouts to develop into
little plants, then you can figure out how many days I left them there
forgotten in the salad spin dryer. When I opened the lid, there they were:
sprouts of sprouts. JeesshhI won't even mention (or shall I?) the oranges past edibility I threw in the wood from my window today, hehe..I've always been an expert at throwing things..though this time I didn't aim at anybody's head.
****
Paraphrases
The "monster" who loves sleeping wrapped in worm dribble, whose diet include eating bees' regurgitation, milk gone bad and animals' limbs kept in the cellar for at least two years, all washed down with the juice produced by rotten grapes....is somebody who simply loves sleeping in silken bed sheets, eats honey, cheese and ham and drinks wine.
December-16-2004
)
Whenever
I walk down the corridor to her office and, out of the blue, tell her
straight one of the thoughts that usually crowd my mind during my day at
work, there invariably follows a few seconds of total silence and then her
roar of laughter fills the air. She says that my oddity is counterbalanced
by the light that spreads around me whenever I'm wearing my cream coloured
jumper. And that's just as far as we go in terms of clothes' talk. Our
coffee-breaks are spent at the coffee machine eating fruit and denying the
existence of coffee. With her little Swiss knife, now she's peeling
the kiwi we're going to share and suddenly I can see the pain in her eyes
as she tells me her man broke up with her the night before. I stand there overwhelmed by her grief and only half register her attempts at being funny: her laughter now is just a cry for help.
She casually starts talking about the swans she can see from her window at home, of how a couple of them built a nest by the beach but never succeeded in starting a family, how they eventually gave up and left for better shores, leaving their empty nest to be removed by the local ecological officers. (dear oh dear, pure jollity here!). All I can do is listen and gently rest my hand on her back as we walk back in, then I give her my uneaten little orange and leave. As a result, I spend the weekend feeling bad for her and feeling guilty for not having invited her over to ease her pain and distract her...
Monday morning comes bringing the news (!!) that the guy went knocking on her door on Saturday evening....fine, perfect...it's good to suffer a while just for the sake of experiencing reunions of fire, right... only next time, baby, send me an SMS, give me a call BEFORE the weekend is over so that I can arrange my feelings and shake off the world's cares on time, heheheh...ggrrrrr!!!
[Shepherds only make for an idyllic picture but that's all! Why do they swear all the time? You should see how nasty and nervous they get with their dogs...is it the constant bleating that's making them mad? Idyllic my foot indeed]
December-14-2004
)
November-13/December-13-2004
"I don't know your
thoughts these days...we're strangers in an empty space" - Keane
****************************************************
November-06-2004
)
Whenever
I log on my PC in the morning and see my "carpe diem" picture
(for the absent-minded, I'm referring to the pigeon photo below) on the
desktop, I can't help but recall those moments when I was standing there
on the lava rocks over the sea, debating what to do. No, no, it was not a
question of "to jump" or "not to jump", it was rather
a question of either live the moment and record it in my mind, or run the risk of scaring
the bird away by switching on my (noisy) digital camera, thus losing the
chance of shooting my best picture ever. Fortunately, I decided for the
second course of action ("carpe diem" attitude really pays off)
with the surprising result that all the key elements of my life are
there...untamable, always moving, not very predictable, self-supporting,
with a taste for risk and danger, often on the brink of the precipice,
taking flights but always with an eye on the ground, aware of the chasm
surrounding us at every step we take but never letting it stop me from
living my life the way I am... You bet I walked up that crag you see in this picture!!!
October-28-2004
)
My philosophy of life summed up in a
photograph. Carpe diem, indeed.
October-20-2004
)
Okay, those shorts again...and they needed ironing...so what? uffaaa!
October-06-2004
October-06-2004
)
I'm
suffering from the devastating psychological effects brought about by a
combination of post-holiday depression and unwanted hormonal
emotions...Should I lose control now, the explosion of the volcano that
originated Santorini island would be meaningless. But indeed, nature
taught me that not all explosions must necessarily be negative and that
wild beauty can be born out of disasters: this was the one and only
thought I had in my mind, as I used to watch amber and blue silently melt
into each other at sunset on the most sensuous, wild, cruelly beautiful
island I ever set my foot on. I was so struck by the awe-inspiring sights around me that I spent my time totally absorbed by them and taking them all in....Strangely enough (or maybe not, under the exceptional circumstances) the only intellectual activity I allowed my brain to perform, was to send 200 impulses to my finger, strong enough to click on the button of my digital camera and fill up the first memory card I had with me. At some point I refused to use an extra memory card as an excuse to stop taking pictures and enjoy the moment without the "lens barrier". This means that the only "element" that captured and witnessed my shivers of pleasure the mornings I took my dips in the nude is the deep blue Aegean sea.
[I had a story to tell you of how my luggage was taken to the port of Thira by mistake to be loaded on board a cruise ship and then (after a hysteric telephone call by the hotel receptionist) taken back first by cable car, then by taxi and finally delivered back to me at the airport minutes before check-in....wow...]
Feel much better now. Writing as a mood stabilizer...Night
October-04-2004
)
October-01-2004
My best holidays ever...
September-19-2004
)
And
speaking of observing nature...I was wondering...why is it that although
bees in our gardens transfer pollen indiscriminately from flower to flower
we don't find crosses between geraniums and dahlia? or between roses and
violets? Is it because, though part of the same species, their essence is
different? So this difference must be seen as a boundary of a sort;
without that boundary flowers would lose their identities and nature would
be in a mess, wouldn't it? Now, following question is: is it the same when
it comes to humans?[Gosh, my first idea was to tell you about my efforts not to burst out laughing (or crying) whenever I find myself trapped in a circle of women and they start talking about gynecologists...in this specific case, OLD gynecologists and their trembling hands...bbbrrr...hehe]
[Picture: Nederland, Juni 2004]
September-15-2004
)
Between
one fit of irritation and one of desperation, I finally made it through
this cruel, tormented summer that put my will-power and abilities of
adaptation to the test. Between one lesson learnt, a crash-course on "how to curb my tongue" and a couple of hardly suppressed ironic remarks, I feel like I've been somehow "transformed" by recent events...though fortunately only on the surface. Luckily enough, the original core is still there, unscathed...and good news is that the famous old shell has been discarded at last.
Though I must confess I've had to turn to the observation of nature more than once not to feel the ground slipping off my feet. Glad I had my strawberries to pick, grateful that my olive tree produced 14 (!!) lovely green olives, happy that I planted those insignificant climbing plants on the rockery because now they are giving me the joy of 3 little melons...though it's rather strange they are not ripe yet at this time of the year, heheh.. At this rate, I suppose I'm going to become the first producer of "Christmas melons" in the world. But who cares if I'll never taste them, if anything they made me feel a sort of "Solitary Reaper" (see. W. Wordsworth) this summer: moments like these, when life takes on the quality of literary art, are to be savoured...
okay, okay...I see your heads lolling over asleep again, I'll shut up now!
[Picture: Paris, May 2004 ]
September-10-2004
September-04-2004
[Level of boredom: high. Read at your own risk]
It's not only a question of being prone to changing my mind easily..it's just that I still haven't got rid of this bad habit of doing things at the last minute (though there's a reason for it)...so it happened that 24 hours before catching a plane I still hadn't decided on what to wear for the big meeting I was due to attend. Briefly, I'll just say that I ended up feeling guilty for having my mother mend my new pants the night before I was supposed to leave on my trip. *Sigh*
Having to comply with the set of rules regulating or rather determining what's proper and what's not in social life, makes me rebellious and indecisive, torn between being totally myself or a sheep. Though I hate to admit it, I'm still stuck at the "compromise stage". In other words, under the circumstances, I had to bend to the "etiquette" and dressed up as I was expected to BUT I left a few clues clearly indicating the way I really am. So it happened that after spending a night alone in a hotel I woke up determined NOT to wear those high heel shoes that would have broken my back walking to the metro (I chose the comfortable sandals, instead)....and so it happened that, despite all the Italian fashion designer advices, I carried an alternative bag that had nothing whatsoever to do with the style of my clothes...or better, it clashed with them...just an unconscious (or maybe not so unconscious) way of giving space to my self-expression...not to talk of my wild hairstyle :)
Though tiring and intense, my business
trip was a success and I came back home happy for having been
"reasonably" myself and with some pleasant additions to my
baggage: a little bit more self-confidence (as long as it'll last) and a
very positive and nice experience in terms of human interaction and
relationships :)
But that's mostly due to what I've learnt in my self quest: freedom of
expression is the key; that's one sure way of being surrendered and
approached by people you really like. Let the easily shocked ones take
their stunned faces somewhere else..:)
I finally met face to face the people I've been in contact with for months
either by email or telephone only (no, no, not my web-fans, heheh) and it
was amusing to see how different (or similar) many of them were to the
idea of them I had in my mind based on their emails or voices...One guy in
particular surprised me: I had imagined him to be quite
conservative-looking, with well combed short hair, right parting and
glasses. He looked quite the opposite: long hair, untrimmed beard, pony
tail and NO formal dress at all (he's "tolerated" by the mass
because of his talents....No wonder we were immediately on the same wave
length. Be yourself.
[Pic: Chocolate I bought for my mum...I love seeing her surrender to
temptation...]
August-23-2004
August-19-2004
Though
I prefer living in the present, I have one memory that I particularly
cherish. It dates back to when I was about 8 years old (ie. about 20 years
ago, hehe..yeah, sure) and on August 18th one of our lady neighbours came
to see me holding a packet of biscuits and a little bunch of white flowers
in her hands: "Happy Saint Elena Day" she said and it felt like
an unexpected caress.This year, like every year, I spent the day with this image of the past on the back of my mind, savoring that moment, knowing that everybody I know would forget "my day"... The only "satisfaction" I get from August 18th nowadays is to wait till the day after to remind people near me of what they forgot, eheh and observe the half frustrated, half desperate look on their face while I stand there smiling like a Cheshire cat...! My little sadistic pleasures in life...:)
Let me check once more my mailbox: no, all kinds of talk but not a word about it! Ppppfff! So, now I can say "Thank you my friends for not wishing me happy Saint Elena Day yesterday eitherl! Aaahhh! Good! I wouldn't have had the time to reply anyway! LOL
August-17-2004
Consider this superfluous entry like a warm-up... Now that I think of it, it's been too long since I last put pen to paper or should I say fingers to keyboard...Looks like my creativity took a vacation: two entries in a month isn't exactly what I'd call a record or maybe it's my brain that gets exhausted after days spent at work writing "Guidelines for Dummies" hehehe. I'm developing unexpected diplomatic abilities, I never thought I could but the result is that at the end of the day I need an outlet for my natural ironic streak..Can I explode now? *devilish smile*
[No picture this time..Actually I'd have a couple to post but I'd never want to disturb your dreams!!!!]